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Writer's pictureNicola Murray

Missing In Action


It is the weekend of my daughter's 18th birthday. It's a poignant moment to reflect on the journey of the last 18 years and celebrate our socks off.

So why, have I found myself thinking "I'll be glad when I get this weekend out of the way"?

It almost sounds perverse, but when faced with the mountain of planning, organising, cleaning, collecting, making and general logistics that need to go into this weekend, I suppose it's (almost) understandable?

One thing I'm much better at nowadays is 'noticing'.

Noticing patterns of thinking and when I am getting sucked into negative thought patterns that are not serving me well.

I feel I'm much more self-aware and I can spot when my mind is about to jump into a big hole and struggle to get out.

And rather than give myself a hard time when I notice my mind is doing this, I am now able to simply acknowledge what is happening and then make a decision to let the thoughts go - allow the thoughts to pass without getting drawn in to 'thinking' or ruminating on the negative.

When I do spot a recurring pattern of thinking and reflect on what is going on in my mind, it can really be quite a revelation - a release! A real learning .

I learnt today that I often have similar thoughts that basically equate to 'wishing away' an exciting or joyful event - being 'missing in action' with my head elsewhere rather than experiencing every moment of it.

And so now, equipped with a deeper awareness of myself and my thoughts, I can and HAVE made a decision to really focus on the joy of the next few days.

And be present.

And feel proud of my gorgeous daughter and the young woman she has become.

Rather than thinking about the fact that I'll be glad when this event is 'ticked off the list' and all of the 'jobs are done.




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