About 8 years ago, I realised something which was both significant and obvious at the same time.
I wasn’t ‘present’ in my own life.
Even when I was sitting still, I was still in ‘doing’ mode; planning, list making, strategising, creating, evaluating, over-analysing, being self-critical, stressing, worrying, planning, reflecting……. and on we go.
I realised this one evening walking home from my yoga class in the early evening sun. My walk to class bore the hallmarks of my usual state of being: distracted, eyebrows formed in their usual concentrating, thinking furrowed position.
My mind full of what if’s, should do’s and why not’s. Head down, tunnel vision with no awareness of what was around me or where I was.
And yet only 90 minutes later on my walk back , I realised that I could hear the birds, smell the air and feel the breeze on my face. I felt calm and I felt inspired and moved by my surroundings. I was present, in the moment.
Why was this?
The answer, again, is an obvious one.
My yoga class had taken me out of my busy head and into my body and in doing so, it had brought me into the present moment.
When I thought about this a little more, I realised that Dance had always provided this connection for me – transported me out of my head and into my body. The constant chatter of my mind quietened whilst I focused on my physical experience in the here and now. I realised how lucky I was to have dance in my life.
It got me to thinking.
How could I get this same heightened awareness of being in the present when I was going about my day to day life more generally? I began to panic at the realisation that
I had I been so ‘busy’ in my head that I missed big chunks of my life.
I would look at photographs of my now teenage girls when they were younger and I struggled to remember the time, place and occasion that the photograph was taken. This really upset me and it made me feel so guilty. Were my mental ‘to do’ lists so important that they stopped me being ‘present’ for my family and for myself ?
This is when I started to research Mindfulness and began my learning journey.
Mindfulness has been described as “Knowing what is happening, while it is happening, without preference"(1)
We accept things as they are in the here and now and sit with them. Allow them to just ‘be’ without trying to fix them. We explore our present moment experience with a kindly curiosity.
It sounds simple….. and it is. But actually being ‘present’ in our experience takes practise.
In Mindfulness Practice, we sit and we use our body as an anchor to bring us into the present moment. We allow thoughts to come and go and we use our breath and the sounds around us to support our meditation.
It's not about removing any thoughts from your mind or having no thoughts at all
I think this is almost impossible. It's more about noticing . Being aware of when your mind starts to wonder into 'doing' mode, accepting and letting go in order to be present.
Practicing Mindfulness has had such a positive impact on my wellbeing in so many different ways.
I am much better equipped to cope with stress, I sleep better. I feel calmer and I so much more readily appreciate the moment.
I'm not saying I have 'cracked it' by any means. I catch my busy mind distracting me often, but I am able to notice it and bring myself back into the present. I can feel my feet on the ground, the air on my skin and the breath in my body. And I'm learning all of the time and will carry on learning every day. I'm so grateful to my teachers both at The Mindfulness Association and Breathworks.
And as I move forward in my Mindfulness Journey, I hope to share the benefits with family, friends and anyone that wants to give it a go. And why not give it a go? What have you got to loose? (apart from the opportunity to live more of your life in the here and now!)
1) Nairn, Choden & Regan-Addis (2019) From Mindfulness To Insight Colerado: Shambhala Boulder
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