Artwork by Nieve
So it's month one of the 'Seasons of Heart, Mind & Body' challenge!
It might be wise to start with an explanation of my personal aim for this month - to reconnect with 'me': Nic, Nicola, Mrs Murray, Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mum, Teacher and ........................ therein lies the challenge.
Sometimes, it's easy to have tunnel vision in our lives - a focus on the roles we play and on getting by each day in an often frantic world. So during February, I aim to focus on self-reflection and reconnection with all of the different layers of 'me', expanding beyond the roles I play and finding some 'me' time and space to cultivate positivity, wellbeing and inspiration.
Reconnecting with the "Essence of Me"
When I finally moved back ‘Up North’ from London , I 'found' once again a group of my very dear friends with whom I had lost touch.
We met whilst studying on an A Level Dance Course at Oldham College in the late 80s / early 90s. We were / are all completely different but we connected through our passion for Dance and life in general. We were young and fearless and in search of as much fun as we could muster. It was the time of ‘Madchester’. The city was alive with home-grown talent, fabulous musicians, bands and brilliant clubs. We strutted our stuff at The Hacienda and made more than one appearance on ‘The Hitman & Her’.
We crashed at each other’s houses, drank far too much and generally had the best time ever. As young women, we looked out for each other and we loved each other through trouble and strife.
Fast-forward twenty years to 2010 and one slightly drunken evening, we sat, now forty-something, chewing the cud & putting the world to rights, in-between dancing our socks off as though we were still in our early twenties (yes, I'm happy to report that we did all still have 'the moves'). I felt so happy to be with them after such a long time. They knew me. They know me. The 'essence' of me - the 'me' at the core. The me before life got more complicated, before I became a bona fide 'adult' (whatever that means). The me that was fun, happy and carefree.
Now that isn't to say the 'me' now is not fun or happy. Or that the 'me' nowadays is not the 'real' me. The 'me' today has been shaped by my life experiences to date - some good, some not so good. I know, like a lot of women my age, that my default 'self talk' is not always as kind to 'me' as it would be to other people. And I know that the roles I play in life are often all consuming and conspire to hide the 'essence' of me. But I have many layers and my aim in 'Finding' February, is to reflect on and celebrate the layers of me that make me who I am.
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